Most of us have had jobs in the food service industry and we can all appreciate how difficult it can be, especially when dealing with customers who think the wait staff are their personal verbal punching bags. Order up: Here are the top 10 ways to tick of your waiter or waitress.

10. Demand a straw/Take a straw

It’s called “please” and “thank you”.Not even that: just ask nicely. “Could I get a straw please?” Your waiter or server isn’t going to slap you upside the head or spit in your food for asking for a straw. 99 times out of 100 there is a straw in the server’s apron and they don’t mind taking the extra two seconds to dig it out and hand it to you with a smile.

9. Tell the server how to do their job

They’ve been trained.They haven’t been fired yet. Don’t tell them what to do. Unless they’ve completely abandoned you (in the sense that you’ve probably irritated them to the point that they quit) then don’t play Hitler and demand this, that, and the kitchen sink.

8. Put a time limit on you server

Most of the time, you are not the only table the server has, the only table in the restaurant, or the only table in the world. If a server says that they’ll be back with your drink, chips, whatever: don’t pull out your stopwatch and assume that “right back” means “1 minute, ready, set, go!”

7. Assume that sending your food back will result in the servers spitting in it or in any way defacing it

If the server offers to take it back, then give it to them! It’s not that big of a deal! They’ll take it back, fix it, and bring it back with plenty of time for your appetite.

6. Associate any problem with your dining experience to be the fault of the server

If your food came out wrong, it’s the kitchen’s fault. If your table isn’t clean, it’s the bus boy’s fault or the host’s fault for sitting you at a dirty table. If something happens that is obviously the fault of someone else who works at the restaurant, then don’t shoot the server. They are the messengers of the kitchen, so politely inform them of the problem and they will notify the person in charge. (key word: politely)

5. Leave any kind literature on the table for us to read

We will throw it away.We are way too busy to stop and read your latest novel or whatever you are trying to sell. If it’s that important, talk to us. It’s our job to be social.

4. Tell us you’re ready to order, then change your mind fifty times

Again, you are not the only table in the restaurant.Your server has a laundry list of things to get done and if you decide that the words dribbling from your mouth are more important than the rest of the patrons of the restaurant, it gets old and frustrating and then we will probably spit in your food.

3. Say something rude

Try it and see what happens. Your server will give you a big smile and crappy service. We are people too. Just because our title is “server” doesn’t mean we are in any way inferior to you. If they offer you an appetizer, don’t retort that you haven’t opened the menu or something else rude.

2. Take out your problems on the server’s tip

If it wasn’t the server’s fault (See number 6) then don’t retaliate by giving the server a dollar or you pocket change. The kitchen, the managers, and virtually everyone will get paid more than the server and by attacking they’re tip you will not in any way get back at the person responsible.

1. Don’t tip at all

There is absolutely no reason in this universe to not tip. It doesn’t matter if the restaurant burned down on you, tip SOMETHING! It doesn’t prove anything except that you are a completely heartless jerk. (Side note: don’t find dumb reasons to not tip either. Lightning will strike you as you exit the restaurant.)